Article

CHANGING MARRIAGES

No matter where ever a civilisation had existed , however small or big it is, marriage was always instituionalised for maintaing an orderly life. Though different cultures had advocated varying degrees of functions for it , lifelong companionship and procreation are the most common. Marriage as an institution in Hinduism was mainly to perform religious duties and was a medium for “Dharma Artha Kama Moksha” , which defines the life of an individual. While in Islam , it is an honourable route to proper procreation and maintainence of order in the society.Other cultures have also adovocated similar contexts for marriages. Many imporatnt cultures prohibit celebacy.

Marriage as an institution was not inevitable to change. From being insoluble it was now soluble.Some advocte that the credibility of marriage system was eroded over time while some say that it adopoted itself to the changing mindsets and environment.The concept of divorce is now prevalent in almost all the societies anywhere in the world barring some tribals .Divorce is an unknown concept to our aryan culture and marriage can be dissolved only upon the death of one partner.But in present society that is a boon to millions of inviduals , mainly women to lead a life of dignity, though some of the neagtive effects are also known.

There were many changes in the system of mariage comapred to its text tradition .The most imporatnt change that I will be discussing in this article is about choosing life partner by the individual rather than by family members i.e., in short Love marriages.

Love marriages are a taboo in India where 70% of our population hail from rural areas. Almost whole country was prevailed by the common institution irrespective of their religions.Even among Christians of India the system of arranged marriages is prevalent, though their counter parts in the west have love marriages as part of their culture.Caste feature which is a unique to Indian society is solely reponsible for treating love marriages as a taboo. This is such a powerful institution that persons who get into a love relationships will be lynched and killed ruthlessly in some rural areas.

Hearing the term “love marriage “ will raise the pressure in heart for more than 60% of our population.It was impalnted in the mindsets that love marriage is something that should be opposed and which if encouraged will create chaos.Though love was the most important ingredient in marriage , there was no reason to believe that love before marriage is immature.Many parents, unfortunately even educated parents, believe that only the person whom they choose is worth the love of their child.

Arranged marriage had significance in the past where there was a tradition of early marriage for both brides and grooms.So the concept of parents considering the partner for their children had sense as they were too young to choose for themselves.Also the level of literacy was was absent and the person with better experiance was considered to be better knowledged and hence experianced persons, normally parents, will choose partner for their children.

But in today's scenario the average age of marriage for females came around 21 and that of males to 25 from that of 12 and 16 respectively. Apart from that literacy had also taken strong roots.Most of people are better educated than their parents and have defnitely have a better chance to choose their life partners. But the superstition of only parents can search for better partners still exists even among the educated communites mainly in southern part of our country.Many parents still consider caste and prestige of the families of match rather than the qualities of invidual person.The myth that better families will produce better children was always advocated in their minds during the search for their children.

In the past there existed joint family system in which bride coming will enter in to the family of whole rather than merely her husband and children. So it was then important that girls whom parents and other family members like should have a higher preference as it was with them whom she will be spending majority of her time.At that time female employment was an alien concept and she should be depending upon the almost all the members of the family for the sustenance.

But today joint families were rare and contribution for GDP through female employment is also significant.Persons who can compliment their lives can be better chosen by themselves.Today even caste has lost its functional significance.Though it still exists , it is only paper and will play no role affecting the oppotunities as constituion accepts and validates intercastes , inter religion and inter national marriages.Mainting pure blood by marrying someone in the caste , which was widely prevalent in the past, has totally lost its significance in the present context.

Moreover in the present day many individuals stay away from their homes and parents to pursue their education and it is the friends circle and other such environment which will shape up their personality rather than the family which used to be in the past. So the myth that better families produce better individuals is totally invalid in the present world.

Instead of marrying someone whom we never met and about whom we know nothing in particular , it is logical and better to marry someone whom we have known for quite sometime and belive that we have better chances of a good relationship rather than gambling on a person whom we or our parents know nothing.

Another most misinterpreted fact about the love marriage is its rate of success.Though it is factually correct, it is often misinterpreted.No matter what kind of marriage one enters in to , it is sure to develop some strains in the long run. Parents generally act as a glue in fixing up the starins and thus ensuring a long term compatibility. In most of the cases the parental support for love marriages is not only absent but acts as a catalyst to further develops the strains between the couple. The success rate even among love marriages who have parental support will be as high as arranged marriages. It is very important that parents should look forward for better future and happines of their children rather than stressing themselves on to matters of caste and religion which have no significance in the present world.

Although parents in many families of north india, mainly of educated class have opened up their minds to intercaste and inter religious marriages, rural households still regard that as taboo and go as far as to kill their children. Many parents in southern part of the country are still mythical about old forms of marriage and accpetance of love marrigaes is quite low in this part, even among the educated class.It is quite ironical that southern states have better literacy rate than their north counterparts but yet acceptance ratio is much smaller.

It is yet to be noted that Love marriages is an abstarct concept and should be carefully abided.The proposal of love makes sense only when made at a matured age rather than in teen ages where the harmonal effect on invidual will be at its peak.The ability to choose a life partner comes only with proper education or outlook of the world.It is quite ridcuolous to oppose love marriage of two engineers and both working in MNC's drawing huge salaries where as it is absolutely correct or even necessary to stop same kind of thing between two teen agers.It is important here to note that eductaion is not important but outlook of world and life is important for attaing the credibility of choosing one's own partner.

With changing form of lifestyles it is also necessary and important to ensure and accept changes in the marriage system or else it would as a whole will endanger itself of loosing the credibility.

Ravi.K.Varma

ravikanthvarmag@gmail.com